How much attention are you paying to the words that that may be hurting your credibility?

There are 2 kinds of awareness regarding your speaking that relate here: One is being aware of words, attitudes and inflections that give mixed messages to the listener (the subject of the link I’ve included below).

The second kind of awareness is hearing yourself so you can stop undermining your credibility. Being aware of what you’re saying and doing requires serious focus and is worth working on. One of the ways to work on it is mentioned in this article–find a friend who will let you know when you slip. Conquering both kinds of awareness help you to be invisible–that place where people hear your ideas and look for your flaws.

Getting these wrong can indeed sabotage your career.

http://www.everydayhealth.com/womens-health/crimes-of-conversation-how-your-speech-is-sabotaging-your-career.aspx?xid=aol_eh-gen_2_20120423_&aolcat=HLT&ncid=webmail8

Shawn Achor is worth watching as a way to help your speaking skills

Here’s a good role model for your speaking. He’s natural, conversational, funny and to the point. Watching others do a good job can help improve your speaking. TED offers many opportunities to watch speakers with something to say. Of course, some a better than others, but in addition to content, you can learn a lot from their delivery.

Get over yourself, Anthony Weiner

If you’re in the limelight, you’d get in less trouble if you’d get over yourself. (As would we all.) Politicians, actors, sports figures, personalities, teenagers begin to think they’re special because they get a lot of attention. And then lose their focus. (It happens to all of us when we think we’re special.)

Anthony Weiner got careless (as do we all) when we think we’re special.  Thinking you’re special, makes you think you can get away with inappropriate behavior. And we don’t focus. Thereby compounding the inappropriate behavior by pushing “send” without really being present. (We kid ourselves that we can multitask and that it’s the secret of our success–and then look what happens, while driving, texting, giving a speech, talking to your children or significant other.)

Teenagers are sure they can text and drive (or any number of other things–because they’re special. And next thing you know, you post that private text to the public and get 1500 teens attending your 16th birthday party (as just happened in Germany).

No use pointing fingers at them. We’d all be better off if we could do these two things: got over ourselves and be in the moment. It may be challenging but it’s a lot less dangerous.

Things you can learn from “The King’s Speech”

Because I’ve been teaching people to speak effectively for over 30 years and because my Master’s Degree studies focused on Winston Churchill’s speaking ability (overlapping with the film’s time frame, I really looked forward to seeing this film.

Of course, along with almost everyone else, I loved it. And there are lessons in it about speaking even if you’ll never be king and you don’t stammer.

In spite of the King’s resistance, Logue (his coach) figured out ways to accomplish what he knew he needed to do–distract him from the thought patterns that had gotten him into the problem in the first place. Logue had him sing, dance, and swear at various times as ways to break his negative focus.

If you are distracted by what has happened in the past when you speak, or what you imagine may happen, or what you will do if it does happen, you need to distract yourself from those destructive thoughts. For me, the big difference was when I found out no one cared about me. Didn’t matter what I’d done in the past or what I might do wrong or even whether or not they liked me. All that mattered was whether or not I could help them in some way with what I had to say.

You have the power to leave the destructive thoughts behind and just say it. The King had a much larger hurdle to get over than most of us ever will. You can use some of the things that helped him to move past your concerns and say what you want to say.

Governor Jerry Brown State of the Union address

Jerry Brown still isn’t warm and fuzzy, but he’s doing a better job of connecting than he used to.

Jerry Brown’s delivery was (typically) staccato and he read his speech. But. It was his speech and he gave it with conviction. He moved along quickly–more quickly than I’d recommend for most of you, but for him, it came across as not wanting to waste time using a lot of filler or “politic speak.” Plus, because he wrote it himself and was committed to the ideas he was expressing, he delivered those ideas with conviction.

He gave it a light touch by joking a bit with the audience about who was and was not applauding (by party). And at one point encouraged the audience to consider that what he had just said as something that could really get support from both sides, and therefore they could clap.

Like his ideas or not, he came across as having just one agenda–to save the state of California from going down the tubes. And he was believable when he said he was open to ideas on how to accomplish from anyone who would express them to him. The proof remains to be seen. But from the standpoint of delivering a speech, he sounded sincere and committed. We should all do as well.

Yes, you can get better at focusing

Focus is like a muscle and you can develop it. You’ll get your work done faster and better, have more time to do the things you want, and make your family happier.

Here’s another voice showing you how.

http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2010/11/where_do_you_do_your_best_thin.html?referral=00563&cm_mmc=email-_-newsletter-_-daily_alert-_-alert_date&utm_source=newsletter_daily_alert&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=alert_date

Your best bet for being listened to when delivering a controversial message

People always want to be given a list of “good speakers.” For me, a good speaker is one who is genuine and who doesn’t make me uncomfortable with ego issues.

The young woman in this You Tube speech is about as good as you can get in terms of speaking on a hot-button issue. Regardless of which side of this issue you are on, she makes it possible to listen to her story.

So, pay attention to her ability to convey her passion without sounding as though she has an ax to grind. In addition, her pauses are powerful.

She’s a good role model for all of us for speaking with passion and without ego.

Bruce Willis, “Any idea when you’ll be getting to the point?”

Bruce, as an actor in a movie, can carry this off. As audience members, we sometimes feel like asking the speaker that question but we’re not in a movie and there may be consequences if we do ask.

Not much you can do as an audience member, but as a speaker you can make sure your audience doesn’t feel like asking you that question. Figure out your point before you start speaking so you can make it in short order. And even if you didn’t make it in short order, if they asked you for your point you wouldn’t be stumped.

Anxiety, fear of failure, fear of not being perfect, fear of forgetting, fear of not making a good impression, lack of focus, a desire to be heard and any number of other things can distract you from heading to your point. So, those have to be put on the back burner. Know your point and get to it and avoid hearing Bruce’s question.

Apolo Anton Ohno: a poster boy for focus

I can’t get the image out of my head of Apolo Ohno staying focused and on track in 2 separate pile ups in his races. He was prepared, alert, and aware. And he didn’t get distracted from his race by other skaters’ issues.

He was a great role model for anything that requires focus–and speaking surely does. You have to determine if the disaster or distraction that happens in the vicinity of your presentation needs your attention or your presence and, if it doesn’t, get on with what you’re doing/saying. Otherwise, you’re not all there and you won’t be happy with the result.

Solving 110% of the crimes?

It’s vital to be “in the moment” when you’re speaking–to be aware of what you’re saying and to be focused.

In a press conference a law enforcement official was assuring the press that their department took the “Balloon Boy” incident seriously. He stated that in the length of time that he’d been associated with the department they had solved 110% of the crimes committed.

I have no idea if he realized what he’d said just after he said it, or if he didn’t realize it until later, or until someone pointed it out to him, or ever. He was clearly trying to make the point that they were an efficient dedicated department and chose a phrase that is often used to indicate how motivated a person or team is. But it’s a phrase that really doesn’t work for this subject.

To save yourself from embarrassment and misstatements, stay focused and in the moment. Process what you’re saying as you say it, rather than thinking ahead or allowing yourself to be distracted in any way. You’ll be a happier, more effective speaker.