Getting Over Yourself

March 10, 2011

Things you can learn from “The King’s Speech”

Filed under: Observations — Barbara Rocha @ 1:33 pm
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Because I’ve been teaching people to speak effectively for over 30 years and because my Master’s Degree studies focused on Winston Churchill’s speaking ability (overlapping with the film’s time frame, I really looked forward to seeing this film.

Of course, along with almost everyone else, I loved it. And there are lessons in it about speaking even if you’ll never be king and you don’t stammer.

In spite of the King’s resistance, Logue (his coach) figured out ways to accomplish what he knew he needed to do–distract him from the thought patterns that had gotten him into the problem in the first place. Logue had him sing, dance, and swear at various times as ways to break his negative focus.

If you are distracted by what has happened in the past when you speak, or what you imagine may happen, or what you will do if it does happen, you need to distract yourself from those destructive thoughts. For me, the big difference was when I found out no one cared about me. Didn’t matter what I’d done in the past or what I might do wrong or even whether or not they liked me. All that mattered was whether or not I could help them in some way with what I had to say.

You have the power to leave the destructive thoughts behind and just say it. The King had a much larger hurdle to get over than most of us ever will. You can use some of the things that helped him to move past your concerns and say what you want to say.


March 7, 2011

Going blank

Filed under: Observations — Barbara Rocha @ 12:45 pm
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On The Late Show the other night, Robin Williams cut Melissa Leo  a little slack for her choice of words at the Academy Awards. He said, “The moment they announce your name, English becomes a second language.”

Perhaps you know the feeling–it’s your turn to speak  and suddenly you’re not the rational person you usually are.

I’ve found that in every instance when I’m not concerned about how I look or what others think of me, my mind will continue to function normally. Knowing it’s not about me, keeps me in my right mind.

So, when they call your name the first thing to do is be grateful. Grateful for the recognition. Grateful for all those who contributed to your success. Grateful that you’re able to bring pleasure to someone else. If you can focus on something outside yourself, the larger idea, English will continue to be your first language and you’ll be pleased with the results.

March 2, 2011

Taking a walk can improve your focus and your presentation

Filed under: Tips — Barbara Rocha @ 9:40 am
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If you’re feeling pressured about your presentation, if you’re stuck trying to get your thoughts organized, or if it’s almost time to give it and you don’t feel ready, talk a walk. Walk and talk out loud. You’ll be amazed at the ideas that come to you and at how much better you’ll remember them. And how much easier it is to see what’s relevant. It’s much faster and more efficient than sitting down in front of your computer trying to force yourself to focus and to be brilliant.

Try it. It will save you lots of time and improve your presentations a lot.

March 1, 2011

Building trust counts on the bottom line

Filed under: Observations — Barbara Rocha @ 2:47 pm
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Richard Edelman, President & CEO of Edelman Public Relations gave the results of a study about the state of trust in business, government, NGOs and media across 23 countries at a Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce meeting. As you might guess, we in the United States have lost trust in all those entities over the last couple of years. It’s hard to build your business, hire new people, and reach clients if nobody trusts you.

Most of us are limited to starting with ourselves and our own small sphere of influence in turning that around. But we can do it. Small things count.

And because my expertise is in speaking, I’ll remind you that every time you talk to someone, client, family member, peer, audience it’s little things that create trust. One of the things Edelman referred to as critical to building trust is transparency. And the same is true in those interactions in your life. If people perceive you as hiding something (and that’s often what it looks like when you’re just trying to survive because you’re protecting yourself) they’re hardly going to be listening to you. Most of their attention will be on protecting themselves or what they’re going to have for dinner. If you’re not there, if they don’t feel they’re seeing and hearing the truth, you’re wasting your breath.

Keep your focus on helping others and you’ll be more transparent. And you’ll get more trust. And that can pay off big time.

Building trust can make an impact on your bottom line.

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