Getting Over Yourself

January 30, 2015

Looking at your audience while you’re talking makes speaking easier

It may seem counterintuitive, but seeing individuals as you speak to a group is actually calming. Everything we imagine about them is quite different from the reality. They’re generally supportive and want you to do well, and you’ll recognize that you’re talking to human beings, people. You’ll see some of them respond to what you’re saying and get encouragement from that.

It should feel like a one-on-one conversation with each person you look at. They’ll remind you of people you know and that will almost always make it easier to speak.

So, before you’re up in front, take time to check them out. Look at them and get used to seeing them as individuals. And, when you do stand in front of them, take another moment to breathe and get used to looking at them–one at a time. That way you’ll all ready have gotten some of the benefits of eye contact before you even start talking.

It really is better.

http://www.GettingOverYourself.com

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January 26, 2015

What was good about Mario Cuomo’s speaking ability?

Filed under: Tips — Barbara Rocha @ 1:15 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

People always ask who I consider to be good speakers. And there are many. Here are 2 YouTube videos that you can watch for examples of good pauses, of being in the moment, of being conversational and connected to the audience. Watch them for the way they present the ideas and pick up a few tips for yourself.

And, if you don’t get caught up with whether or not you agree with the message, you can also see these as examples of the speaker being invisible–keeping you focused on their message rather than on their personal characteristics.

Mario Cuomo’s recent passing recalled his speech at the 1984 Democratic Convention and you’ll easily find that on YouTube. If you watch that one, you should be impressed with how he was able to keep his focus in that huge arena with so many things going on around him.

This interview on 60 Minutes shows how seamlessly he moves from conversation to a speech. He’s pretty much the same either way. The first 7 minutes of this clip shows him in several speaking situations. http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/mario-cuomo-the-60-minutes-interview/

The second is one I just came across recently and it’s a woman speaking on a religious subject. Such subjects can be hard to carry off without sounding personal and also to be engaging. I think you’ll find this accomplishes both. http://christianscience.com/prayer-and-health/inspirational-media/lectures-online-and-near-you/god-is-speaking-to-you-8-mins-eng/%28language%29/eng-US

For more tips: http://www.GettingOverYourself.com

January 20, 2015

Don’t despair if your audience looks blank

Speaking is just a series of problems to be solved: what to say, how to connect it to your audience, how to make it interesting–and more. So, if your audience is looking at you blankly, looking confused, annoyed, or any other reaction you weren’t hoping for, it‘s another problem to be solved, not a personal failure.

If you weren’t the speaker, you’d probably feel right on top of a solution. So, back away and look at it from the audience’s perspective. Audience’s will forgive you almost anything if you are genuine and treat them with respect.

You might say, “You’re not looking at me like I hoped. Help me out, here.” Or, “Hmmm. I was hoping for a different response. What do you need to hear from me?” Don’t be afraid of getting it wrong. Focus on how to work together for an effective outcome.

January 14, 2015

Your audience isn’t actually staring at you

I hear it from participants all the time: “They’re all staring at me.”

It does seem that way — that they’re all staring at you. After all, their eyes are pointed in your direction and you’re standing up there all by yourself.

The truth is, their eyes are pointed in your direction because they’re facing the stage. But they’re actually focused on themselves. They’ve got way too much on their minds to give you the kind of attention you’re imagining. It’s a great moment for remembering that “it’s not about you.” You’re in their sights only insofar as you connect your material to them. And then they’re really focused on themselves–applying the info to their own situations.

Knowing that their focus is on what you can do for them, rather than how you look and sound, keeps your focus where it belongs — on helping them better understand a problem they may or may not know they have.

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