Getting Over Yourself

August 10, 2017

Not talking may give you more presence

Filed under: Uncategorized — Barbara Rocha @ 10:30 am

When we’re asked to speak, usually the first thing that comes up is “what will I say?” And then the words seem to remain front and center leading up to “how will I remember everything?”

We’ve talked about how to make it easier to remember your story and there are many things you can do to keep your story line straight as you speak.

But sometimes worrying about getting all the words right leads to tense delivery. And that leads to everything coming out in a hurry.

Do yourself a favor. Stop worrying about whether you’re going to remember; this allows you to get up there and tell those people what you need or want them to know. If they get that, then you’ve been a success. (If you can’t remember how to make your story easier to remember, e-mail me and ask.)

Not talking often has more impact than talking. Meaning, let yourself pause. Participate in your story and you’ll realize that you can’t just blow through these things–even you won’t be able to process the ideas.

Silence is your friend. It’s what we do in conversation. Pause and let the idea sink in (for both the speaker and the listener). Being able to do that gives you a sense of being in charge, and actually allows you to deliver your message conversationally.

When you’re able to naturally intersperse your message with enough silence to allow everyone to absorb the ideas (yes, you too) then you automatically have presence. Which is a good thing.

http://www.GettingOverYourself.com

 

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2 Comments »

  1. Barbara, I liked your comments about silence. I am slow thinker and aas result a slow speaker. I find quite often that in a group setting, if I pause even for a split second – somebody “steals” my place.
    Amnon (yariv)

    Comment by amnon yariv — August 29, 2017 @ 11:18 pm | Reply

    • Sometimes silence makes other people uncomfortable and some people only want to listen to themselves talk. The first step is to not feel uncomfortable yourself with the silence and the second is to be aware of whether your body and your attitude indicate that you are present and fully expecting to speak. And if they do steal your place when they’re finished, just transition to your comments so the continuity will be clear. And with no judgment of their having stepped in too soon.

      Comment by Barbara Rocha — August 30, 2017 @ 9:38 am | Reply


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