Transfer your speaking skills to conversation

When speaking to a group, you lead with your best stuff to make sure they’re listening to the rest of your message. You then arrange it so there’s a logical flow with some interesting backup all they while tying it to what they’re interested in.

A version of that can perk up your conversations, as well. Of course, some conversations just meander and everyone’s okay with that. But in those conversations where you’d like to keep people engaged–or you’re required to keep them engaged–you can use those same speech-organizing skills. The most satisfying conversations are built around ideas, not people or things.

So, keep your eyes open for interesting facts that can be the basis for a conversation. Think about people you might be talking to and what things about those facts might be of interest to these people. What are questions you might ask to get them to participate?

For stranger-interaction conversations, it’s helpful to remember that many people are reluctant to enter a conversation with a stranger. The sooner you can get to a neutral topic that doesn’t make them feel on-the-spot or like the center of attention, the sooner they’ll relax and get into the topic and fully engage.

An opening remark in such a case might be something like “Were you able to see the eclipse last week?” Which could lead to a descriptive conversation even though it’s a “yes” or “no” answer. Or “How was the traffic on the way from the airport?” Things people will know and that don’t feel invasive.

On the other hand, with acquaintances, those interesting facts you’ve collected can open up a whole new avenue of interaction. (It’s good to get facts from neutral sources that can be checked so you’re not delving into the realm of opinion or fantasy.)

For me, The Christian Science Monitor (which is universally recognized for its unbiased reporting) is crammed with interesting things that could be used in all kinds of groups.

My latest “Oh wow!” fact from that source is that Australian chemists are working on water batteries (aqueous metal-ion batteries) to replace lithium batteries. And the article includes enough of how they’re doing it to make it feel hopeful as an actual solution–definitely enough for a conversation.

Since we are all hard-pressed to get through our days without our lithium batteries, it could be a good conversation starter.

Maybe not all the people I talk with would be interested, but enough that it’s worth thinking about. And then also keep handy a couple of other facts that would appeal to other folks.

In a speech, you need a good closing. Conversations tend to have their own flow which means you probably won’t end up where you started with no need for a closing. But having a good interesting idea to get things started can completely change the nature of the conversation and the experience, and generally be more satisfying.

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